Dirty Talk: How to Do It Like the Pros

Choose a Girl

Below are Lewis’ tips for becoming more comfortable with dirty talk and its benefits and prompts to get you started. Stubbs says to focus on positive check-ins instead of negative ones. “Instead of saying ‘I didn’t like it when you bit my nipple,’ frame it as something like ‘I loved it when you got on top last week,’” she explains.

Can Dirty talk increase sexual pleasure?

To make the conversation steamier, tell your partner what you would do if they were there. Start slowly by talking about foreplay before ramping up into hot and heavy stuff. If you’re comfortable with it, touch yourself as you dirty talk and describe every touch to your partner.

• Punctuate it with a few “ooohs” and moans and it will be more than enough to heat things up.
• Dirty talk can be an exciting and powerful way to connect with your partner on a new level, making your relationship even more pleasurable fulfilling, and empowering partners to design the sex lives they desire.
• ” says sexual health advocate, director, and adult film performer Jessica Drake.
• Plus, dirty talk is something that many people desire.
• Using anatomical terms for body parts might work for…doctors, but cold, clinical language often undercuts the passion of the moment.

What are some things to say while sexting?

This isn’t ideal— especially because, unsurprisingly, the language of porn is predominantly generated by men. Sometimes we’re so nervous about impressing our partner, we forget about our own sexual needs. Don’t worry about being perceived as too demanding or audacious when telling your partner what it is you need from them. First of all, being told what to do in bed is dangerously sexy and they’ll likely feel inspired to blow your mind even further. Second of all, if they don’t care about your needs in bed, they’re selfish and that’s probably not someone you want to be sleeping with. Sex is vulnerable and often has all our insecurities flaring up at once.

Create space outside of any sexual activity for reflection. Conjuring material for dirty talk won’t feel so daunting if you spend time thinking and talking about sex beyond the heat of the moment. When we’re actively having sex, Dr. Jansen says, “our minds tend to choose a path of least resistance” and fall back on the phrases we’ve been repeating for years as the quickest way to reach orgasm during sex. Experimenting with role play is another way to break out of formulaic dirty talk and inspire more creativity. Couples can switch up the setting and pretend to be strangers meeting up at a bar or hotel, but you don’t have to orchestrate something elaborate if you can’t or don’t want to deal with the hassle in real life. You can also try on different sex positions or acts—like anal sex or learning how to squirt during sex—by including them in your word play first.

We’ve all heard roleplay can be a great way to explore our fantasies and “spice things up” in the… I, for example, have a code word for orgasm, which is simply “NOW”; this triggers the subconscious mind in me and by just saying it I usually come. The Best Women’s Erotica of the Year volumes, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, are a great place to start.

This is because it gives the other person a heads up on what is enjoyed in a space that is without time pressure and with privacy. “With a mindset of curiosity, simply explore your partner’s thoughts and feelings around dirty talk and then share your own thoughts/feelings,” she says. “Mutualistic dirty talk is sexy because it’s a positive bid to connect with your partner. And research supports that when these bids are accepted, they not only improve overall relationship satisfaction but ultimately build trust between partners,” says Rullo.

We want every couple’s bond to become stronger, and there is no better way than through the prism of sexual intimacy. The biggest point of contention in the survey was nicknames, particularly of the derogatory variety (e.g. “whore”, “daddy”). These were the number one turn-off for some respondents, yet they were the number three turn-on for others. When it comes to the pet names, the message seems to be to proceed cautiously, starting off lighter (“sweetheart”, “baby”).

I was recently re-watching some porn DVDs from my collection when I realized I had forgotten how on point superstar Sasha Grey’s dirty talk always is. She basically never stops talking when she’s having sex, and the result is a stunning stream of consciousness. She used a few lines — such as, “Aren’t you lucky you got to make me come today? ” — that I immediately filed away for use with the right person. The intersection of dirty talk and technology is such a huge topic that I literally wrote a whole book about it.